~AMAZING CALCULATIONS~

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart Man + Smart Woman = romance.
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = affair.
Dumb man + Smart Woman = marriage.
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = pregnancy.


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit.
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production.
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion.
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime.


SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has a last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.